Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Note: I’m taking a break from the regularly scheduled book reviews. They’ll be back next week with my favorite nonfiction book!

You’re not good enough.

I hear it all the time. Every time I fail at something. You’re not good enough. Every time I think about past mistakes. You’re not good enough. Anytime I’m at a social event and no one wants to talk to me. You’re not good enough. When I look in the mirror and see that a strand of hair is out of place. You’re not good enough. Every time I post something on social media. You’re not good enough. Whenever I don’t meet my own ridiculously high standards. You’re not good enough.

You’ll never be good enough. You’re ugly. You’re boring. Nobody likes you. You’re such a loser. You’re so uncool. Nobody cares about you. You’re so weird. No one will ever love you. The world would be better off without you.

These are the voices in my head.

When I was younger, and I didn’t know better, I believed them. Why would voices in my head lie to me? But as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that these thoughts – these voices – are not the truth. The truth is that I am good enough. I am beautiful. I am interesting. I am unique. I am lovable. I make the world a better place.

I write these thoughts down, and slowly I start to believe them. I write down everything about myself that I love: my kindness, generosity, maturity, intelligence, compassion, inquisitiveness, imagination, and so much more. As I write, I realize these things are true.

How to Change Your Story

Stories are more than just words. Stories tell us who we are. The story you believe can greatly affect the outcome of your life. I could continue to believe the voices that tell me that I’m not good enough, but I choose not to. I choose to believe the story that says that I am good enough, and that I have a positive impact on the world. The voices continue, but I ignore them.

Writing my own story has helped me understand all of the ways in which I make the world a better place. I rescued a wonderful dog who wouldn’t have a home without me. I make kids smile when I teach them and tell them that they’re doing well. I love many people, and I’m here to listen whenever any of my friends are having a bad day.

If you’re like me, and you hear those voices, the ones telling you that you’re not enough, that you’re too fat or too skinny, that you’re unlovable, that nobody cares about you… I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to believe those voices.

Take charge of your story. Write your story down the way YOU want it. Focus on the positive, not what those voices in your head say. List the reasons why you’re lovable. Write down all of the things that you love about yourself. Rewrite your story so you can have a happier life.

Join my 30 Day Shift Your Story, Shift Your Life Challenge. Beginning on October 1, you’ll receive daily emails with journal prompts. Commit to writing in your journal for 30 minutes every day and open yourself up to new possibilities! Sign up below.



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14 thoughts on “Change Your Story, Change Your Life”

  1. Journaling is definitely an amazing way to connect with oneself. I love meditation and affirmations that we can practice everyday which help us change those negative thoughts or patterns that we have taught ourselves. The more we practice the opposite the more we will learn that we have more power than we thought we did. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Thank you so much for this post, Kate! I, too, struggle with the concept of my self-worth. I feel that a lot of people in my life, with me being the toughest, expect so much out of me. Sometimes, I get tired trying to “be enough to everyone” and to myself. Thank you for reminding me that I am enough, and that there is always positive about everyone, including oneself.

    1. Yes, you are enough. It’s tough having high standards sometimes, and we’re so much meaner to ourselves than we would ever be to anyone else.

  3. What a nice post to read in this rainy day. I am trying to rewrite/ revise my story – not as the teacher whose husband tragically died, but as the woman who embraces life and travels.

    1. Yes. Of course, certain experiences are a part of us, but you can choose whether or not you want that to define you. I’m sorry for your loss.

  4. There seems to be so many negative people around today that just spread their negative feelings onto others and this seems to make people doubt themselves even more. Yet if we all make a concerted effort to see the positive side of things and to share these, we effectively lift each other up and make ourselves determined not to see ourselves negatively. Life is so much better when we can see the positive in ourselves and others.

    1. Negative people are definitely out there. I try to avoid them as much as I can. This post is aimed at people who are quick to see the positive in others, yet can’t see it in themselves. Sometimes we can be our own worst critics!

  5. This was definitely a nice post to read today. Everyone has their story and should write about it. Even if it’s just for yourself.

    1. Yes, writing your story is important, and being aware of how it changes over time. Also, it’s important to realize that you have the power to change it!

    1. The problem is that we never see the icky parts of other people’s lives, so we assume that they’re wonderful. But really, everyone has the same struggles. When we understand that, it becomes much easier to be kind to both yourself and to others!

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